Urban Dictionary
by artsybeanpole
Summary: Mary wants to know what a kiss is, and Kano is all too happy to inform her. Pre-Mary-knowing-of-how-cancerous-Kano-is days and responsible housewife Seto to the rescue.


"Seto, what's kissing?"

Seto spat out his coffee.

Mary stared at him with wide, innocent pink eyes, her feet waving carefreely under the table, and he could see, just barely, Kano suppressing laughter in the other room. He made sure to shoot him a smiling glare, and Kano's face quickly re-shaped itself into a stoic look, taking a long sip that, Seto was sorely disappointed to see, was not spit out onto the R18 book he was reading casually for the whole world (which was, in this case, Mary) to see.

He fumbled for paper napkins in the cabinets, mumbling an apology for the mess, and crumpled towels fluttered to the floor by the fistfuls in his bustle to think of what to say. Honestly, Mary had just barely moved in, and Kano was already corrupting her in the first week. He cursed his slow thinking, and had to remind himself, perhaps, he feared, too late, to warn Mary to stay away from Kano and people who had similar Kano-like smiles.

He could hear Kano loudly slurping in the other room, his smirk burning into his back, and he said, languidly, "Looks like you're in a bit of pinch there. You want me to help out?"

He really shouldn't have turned, but he did, and he could feel his fingers twitching. It was good Mary couldn't see him from this angle, he thought, and he said cheerily, "Sure thing! You mind doing a live demonstration with _me?_ Or I can call Kido, and you can show Mary how to with her, instead."

Kano's face paled to around the same color as the cup he was drinking out off, and he kept his hand there for a while. Mary watched all of this with great interest- so this 'kissing' they could do with their own siblings?

She voiced these thoughts to them, and this time it was Kano who spat out his coffee, Seto simply pausing for a long while and continuing his wiping, slowly, though he didn't seem to notice he was drying nothing, the spill a good few feet away from him.

"Oh!" She hit her palm in realization. "So when Kido hits Kano, is that 'kissing?'"

Seto seemed to have regained his composure, and he smiled at her as always, shaking his head, trying to ignore Kano's laughter in the background. "Ah, no, that's-"

"It is!" Kano popped into the room, smoothly interrupting Seto by stepping on his dry towels, spreading his hands amiably, one such white towel stuck to his boot as he took a seat next to her. "You see, she just hasn't realized it yet. It's like, hm- S and M!"

Mary nodded eagerly, listening intently, and though Seto's back was turned, he was, very clearly, internally screaming and struggling to not strangle Kano with the short sleeves of his jacket in front of Mary. Mary pursed her lips in thought, then asked, to Seto's intensifying internal screaming, "What's S&M?"

Kano grinned and tapped his chin in seeming thought. "Weeell, its like kissing, but a lot more intense. So let's say you and your boyfriend Seto here-"

"Anddd I think that's enough." Seto's hand slammed down between them, and he shot a very forced, very understanding, very scary smile at Kano and his all-knowing, innocent grin. "Awww, Seto, you know me, I just got a little excited giving out crucial information to innocent little lambs like Mary here. You know how much it'd hurt me and my poor little heart to let her wander around not knowing important terms like S&M or what yaoi doujinshis are. Right, Mary?"

At this last sentence, he good-naturedly nudged at Mary's fluffy white hair, and, looking quite like a lamb, she nodded firmly, and looked at him with those soft pink eyes determinedly. "Seto, if I want to learn more about the world, it's true- w-what if someone wants to do S&M with me and I don't know what it is?"

Seto's response was immediate, and he grabbed her by the shoulders, looking at her very seriously, and explained the entire thing with amazing precision: "Call the police and keep a knife with you at all times. Call me or Kido and run away and make sure you have a cellphone with you at all times, and if they ask you to go anywhere with them run away and-"

Kano held up a hand in the middle of his explanation, and said, "Wait, wait." He looked at the both of them very seriously, then whined, "Hey, why can't Mary call me? Since you called me up first for the kissing demonstration, I thought we had something~ Don't you trust me? Hey, hey, I want a 'Sorry' kiss~.

Seto twitched, and said, irritably, as if it was obvious, "Because you're probably the harasser in the first place, dammit!"

Mary shook her head, and Seto turned to her again. She took his hand and squeezed it, and looked into his eyes.

She stared at him for some time, his golden eyes reflecting in her pink orbs. "Kousuke," she said, softly, solemnly, and he gulped, his cheeks red just from her saying his first name, and he stammered, "Y-yes?"

She closed her eyes, white eyelashes fluttering softly, and he blinked, waiting for her to move, but she didn't- her face was the picture of peace, and her fragrance, the faintest waft of chamomile and flowers leaving him entranced, his face drawing closer, all on it's own, until her eyelids flew open.

When Mary opened her eyes, Seto was somehow all the way on the other side of the room, his hands flung out, and Kano cackling, "Who's the sexual harasser now!"

She looked questioningly at Seto, and he hid his eyes behind his hood, his cheeks shaded a bright red. "N-nothing." She turned to face Kano, who was stuffing his laughter behind his hands. "S-sorry," she felt she had to explain, embarrassed, "I was thinking, and I was planning on saying something, but I ended up just saying Seto's name."

Kano gave out a long, pointed sigh, and shook his head, as if to prove his point. "You see? All she has to do is say someone's name in that voice of her's and you don't know what people like you will do."

"Um," Mary piped up, "what was it that Seto was trying to do?"

Kano gestured for her to come closer, and said, in a very obvious whisper, "What your dear Seto was doing just now is what we call sexual advances on a mino-"

Seto's hand once again slammed down, narrowly, between their combined heads, and he grabbed Kano's ear, smiling darkly. "I think it's about time for you to _leave,_ please."

He waved amiably as he was dragged from the room by the ear, and a several minutes later Seto reentered the room, and plopped down onto the couch in the living room, mumbling, pressing his palms to his forehead, "It's not advances on a minor, dammit, we're the same age aren't we? Well, not technically, but in medusa years. Then, wouldn't it be the other way around?"

Mary, watching him worriedly, stood from her chair, and took at seat next to him. Seto looked up at her, and the crease between his eyebrows diminished, though not completely so, and he gave her a warm smile. "Hey."

She smiled back, briefly, and, after a short moment of hesitation, leaned against his shoulder, her weight comforting and warm. "Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have asked about it."

Seto's eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head. "No, no! I want you to learn more about this world." He took her hand and squeezed it, staring at her determinedly with golden eyes. "J...just not the way that Kano teaches you, I guess."

He let out a heavy sigh, and Mary was a little disappointed when he took his hand away to cup his forehead again. "Sorry about that...I'm getting a bit selfish, aren't I? Asking you to go along with me again instead of you actively learning on your own..."

Mary shook her head vigorously, and took his hands again. "No! I'm happy like this, meeting everyone and seeing everything. I..." she flushed a little, and said, with resolved confidence, "I...want to be a part of your family. I want to know Kano and Kido as well as you so we can all be siblings and have S&M and kissing and be happy!"

Seto pouted a little, and mumbled, "Well, yes, but... maybe not as well as me?"

Mary looked a little put-out, and said, "Why not?"

Seto had to avert his eyes- he really couldn't handle her looking at him, it was enough him freeze up a little, not entirely because of her power- and said, slightly flushed, "Nothing in particular." Her hands were warm in his, and small, and her hair smelled a little like his shampoo, but different. She leaned closer, and he could feel the heat in his cheeks extend to his neck.

"Anyways!" He blurted out, desperate for space before he spontaneously combusted, "Why did you ask about kissing?"

She pursed her lips in thought, and Seto sighed in relief, even though he already knew the answer. " _Because Kano told me to."_

"Sorry." He looked up, momentarily confused. Mary was looking at her hands, her white hair shadowing over her face in a soft, curling cascade.

"Actually, I already knew what kissing was." Seto sat, dumbfounded on the couch, and Mary's hands gripped her dress, as if preparing to do something grave. "Kousuke, the truth is, I..."

Maybe there had been words after that, maybe there hadn't, but then small hands pulled suddenly at his collar, and then first sensation was of soft, warm lips against his. It took him a while to react appropriately, and when he did, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, her hair smelled faintly of chamomile, and like the shampoo he used. He breathed it in, intoxicating his senses, and thought, dimly, "Like a lamb's..."

It was brief, but it left him dazed, even after they let go, red faced and hearts pounding out of their ribs. He touched his lips, then said, slowly, "Shampoo." She looked at him, still somewhat out of breath, mind reeling. "What?"

He looked at her her and her ruffled hair, and laughed. "You're a part of our family." Mary creased her eyebrows in confusion, while Seto kept laughing, and said, "W-wait. How?"

He simply kept laughing, and pulled her into a hug, feeling giddy, her scent enveloping him.

"Welcome to the Mekakushi Dan, Mary."

A/N: Now, wouldn't it be interesting if Mary when she was kissing Seto was actually Kano and that was how Mary got into BL? I don't know, I was seriously weighing my choices there, but my fluff overcame comic relief. Perhaps I'll find another day to unleash Mary's BL dreams.


End file.
